Sponsorship Opportunities
Because tennis balls or coffee don't grow on trees
Funding dreams since approximately last Tuesday.
“Supporting whatever crazy idea comes next.”
Fund my AI experiments
Buy Me a CoffeeAKA Life Support System
Currently Sponsored By
Coffee
Without coffee: Serve speed 91 km/h. Debugging speed 0 km/h.
Delusion
Believes I can still make Wimbledon. Nobody had the heart to tell them.
Regression testing
Always there to remind me I broke something.
Hope
Still bouncing after every double fault.
Pizza
Scientifically proven to improve morale. Science not included.
Ice pack
Working overtime since 2023.
SPF 50+
Saving me from both UV rays and questionable tan lines.
Excuses Ltd.
Wind, Sun, Strings, Mercury Retrograde, QA deployment.
Credit card
The racket wasn't expensive. The monthly payments are.
Lucky Socks
Won: 8, Lost: 4. Correlation ≠ causation. Don't tell me that.
Looking for New Sponsors
| Sponsor | What you get |
|---|---|
| Coffee shop | Logo appears in my dreams. |
| Bakery | Guaranteed Instagram story. |
| Tennis shop | I'll pretend your racket improved my game. |
| Bug tracker | Unlimited emotional support. |
| Physiotherapist | You'll be busy. |
Sponsorship Packages
Bronze
€4.90
One cappuccino. I say "Thanks."
Silver
€8.50
Large iced latte. I think about you before every match.
Gold
€15
Coffee + croissant. Guaranteed 12% confidence boost.
Platinum
€25
Coffee. Lunch. One motivational speech to myself mentioning you.
Enterprise
Let's talk
Unlimited coffee. I'll legally change my serve's name to yours.
Investor Relations
ROI Calculator
Investment: One latte
Expected return. Past performance not indicative of future aces.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do you actually have sponsors?
Can I sponsor you?
Where does my money go?
What is the minimum sponsorship?
What is the maximum sponsorship?
Will you win more matches?
100% Real
Testimonials
“She definitely drinks coffee.”
- Local Barista
“She keeps buying tennis balls.”
- Tennis Shop Cashier
“Regression caught 17 bugs today.”
- QA Team
“Still thinks that ball was in.”
- Opponent
Fund my AI experiments
Buy Me a CoffeeOfficial Non-Sponsors
- Nike
- Wilson
- Rolex
- Red Bull
They're still thinking about it.
* Tier upgrades accepted in coconut milk only.
